Lesson

Warm Up

Who is the person in your class most likely to die first (apart from your teacher, of course)? Work out the betting odds.

Example: I am offering evens on Hans because he is overweight and smokes.

Listening Zone

Read and listen to this conversation.

Abdul: Why are you crying?
Mei-Ling: My hamster has just died.
Abdul: Oh dear, I am sorry. Was it very old?
Mei-Ling: She. No, she was only one.
Abdul: How did she die?
Mei-Ling: I trod on her.
Abdul: What?
Mei-Ling: I let her out for a little run around the room, then I trod on her.
Abdul: Oh. (Makes snuffling noises.)
Mei-Ling: Are you laughing, Abdul?
Abdul: No, I’m crying. It’s very sad.
Mei-Ling: You’re laughing, I can tell.
Abdul: No, honest, I’m not. (Laughing hysterically.)
Mei-Ling: Well, you won’t get any more blowjobs from me.
Abdul: (aghast) Oh no, Mei-Ling, look, I’m really sorry about your hamster. I’ll go with you to the pet shop and buy you a new one.
Mei-Ling: Bastard!

Wha expressions of condolence did Abdul use? How did Mei-Ling receive these? Could Abdul have handled the conversation differently?

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Language Spot

Present perfect vs. past simple

What is wrong with the following sentences?

1. JRR Tolkien has written some wonderful books.
2. Pope John Paul II has made the world a better place.
3. Ronald Reagan has been a great leader.

Two things are wrong: none of them is true and the wrong tense has been used because these people are all dead. We use the present perfect with dead people only when they have just died.

Example: Margaret Thatcher has just died. Everyone is sad.

Now rewrite the sentences above so that they are both true and in the right tense.

Example: JRR Tolkien wrote some annoying books.

If you finish before the others, add some more true statements about dead people.

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Practice Pod

Practise expressions of condolence. Stand up and mingle. Tell each other that a relative, friend, pet or someone you admire has died. Respond appropriately.

Example:

Student A: My pet fish has died.
Student B: Oh dear, I am sorry. All my children have died.
Student A: Oh dear, I am sorry.