Our Homes and Gardens style editor, Sue Snide, continues her series on Middle Earth homes with a visit to celebrity elvish couple Celeborn and Galadriel.

Sue: This week we pay a visit to Caras Galadhon, seat of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel in the realm of Lórien. And here to welcome us is the Lady of Lórien  herself. Lady Galadriel, thank you for letting us visit your tree-city.
Galadriel: Welcome to Caras Galadhon, Sue.
Sue: Can you tell us a little bit about where we are now.
Galadriel: Right, Sue. This is the tree where Celeborn and I live.
Sue: Gosh, it’s jolly big.
Galadriel: Isn’t it? It’s a mallorn.
Sue: And what a super lawn!
Galadriel: Yes, I planted it not long after we came here. It’s a devil to maintain.
Sue: I bet. And here is a charming fountain. The er basin seems to be made of silver. Is it really?
Galadriel: Pure silver, yes.
Sue: It must have cost a fortune.
Galadriel: Well, I don’t really know about –
Sue: It’s so delightfully kitsch.
Galadriel: Oh, do you think so, Sue?
Sue: Yes, like so much elvish stuff. Of course, it’s meant to be ironic.
Galadriel: Mmm.
Sue: But lovely, in its way. Now what about these lamps? Are they silver too?
Galadriel: Yes.
Sue: So many of them. You must worry that some might get pinched.
Galadriel: Not really, Sue. You see, only elves come here normally, not other races.
Sue: Oh, elves never pinch things, do they? Right, would you like to show us upstairs?
Galadriel: This ladder leads to our little hideaway.
Sue: Guarded, I see.
Galadriel: Let’s go up. It’s a bit of a climb, Sue, so as soon as you’re out of breath, we’ll stop for a rest.
Sue: Do you think this ladder is strong enough for my weight?
Galadriel: Just about. Now do you know what these little floors are called, Sue?
Sue: Decks?
Galadriel: No, flets.
Sue: Oh.
Galadriel: Just a little further, Sue. I can hear you puffing like a Nazgûl down there. And here we are.
Sue: Goodness, it’s vast. It’s a huge er deck with a gigantic house on it.
Galadriel: Welcome to our little nest. Shall we…?
Sue: Right, now we’re in a great oval chamber, with the tree trunk in the middle, of course. The walls are green and silver. I expect that’s pure silver again. And the roof is made of solid gold!
Galadriel: Gold leaf, actually.
Sue: Oh. Well, never mind, it still echoes the overall kitsch effect nicely established by that fountain below. And this must be your son –
Galadriel: No, this is my husband, Lord Celeborn.
Celeborn: Lovely to meet you, Sue. Welcome to Caras Galadhon.
Sue: Well, hello. I think we’ve met before.
Galadriel: I think that’s most unlikely, Sue.
Celeborn: Maybe. I don’t recall…
Sue: Perhaps I’m confusing you with another handsome young man. These chairs are –
Galadriel: 25th century, yes.
Sue: Heavens, they’re ancient. Although, of course, to you, Galadriel, it must seem like only last week. Is woodworm a problem?
Galadriel: No.
Sue: Spray them regularly, do you? Or do you wave your wand and do some elvish woodworm-go-home sort of magic?
Celeborn: Actually, that’s a very good question, Sue. They’re made from mallorn wood, like this tree. Woodworm don’t like it for some reason.
Sue: Really?
Celeborn: We used to have some chairs made from other wood and woodworm was always a problem. Galadriel kept putting on her apron and dashing about pumping her spray can.
Sue: That must have been quite a picture.
Galadriel: All right, I think we’ve seen everything. Shall we go down?
Sue: OK. Bye bye, Lord Celeborn!
Celeborn: Bye bye, Sue!
Sue: And here we are again, back on Galadriel’s enormous lawn. And there’s quite an army of servants – or are they slaves? – busy trimming it as we speak.
Galadriel: They’re paid employees.
Sue: How much do they get per hour?
Galadriel: I honestly have no idea. Celeborn handles that side of things. Now do you want to see the Mirror?
Sue: Lead on!
Galadriel: This hedge was planted by our daughter, Celebrían, who’s no longer with us.
Sue: What happened to her?
Galadriel: And we go in here.
Sue: It’s an enclosed garden, no trees, but a lot of steps. We’re going down the steps and yet more steps towards a stream. And there’s a basin on an amusing little stand –
Galadriel: A pedestal.
Sue:  – shaped like a tree. Very quaint. I’ve seen some of these in Bree market. The basin is made of – guess what? – silver and there’s a jug, made of the same stuff, by the looks of it. Is this for washing your hands after an alfresco crap, Galadriel?
Galadriel: No, Sue, it’s the Mirror of Galadriel. Fill it with water and you can see the past, the present or the future. Would you like to look?
Sue: Absolutely. OK, Galadriel’s filling the basin and I’m looking in it. Oh my goodness, I can see myself. I’m in a cave and I’m being taken from behind by a cave troll!
Galadriel: And do you appear to be enjoying the experience, Sue?
Sue: Not as much as I recall – ah. Well, I think that’s all we have time for this week. Next week I’ll be the guest of the Balrog, who’ll be showing me around his lair in Moria. Thank you, Lady Galadriel, for letting us into your home in Caras Galadhon.
Galadriel: Thank you for coming.