The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me
twelve DOSes drilling
eleven classes mingling
ten teachers talking
nine students sleeping
eight board pens squeaking
seven Swans a-rustling
six copiers jamming
five role plays
four linking words
three base forms
two TOEFL tests
and a gap-fill on the OHP.

Two carols by David B

Silent Class

Silent class, wholly mute
Ugly bunch, no one cute
Been here months but not learned a thing
Refuse to talk, let alone sing
Teach in silent despair
TEFL life is unfair.

Good-for-nothing DOS

Good-for-nothing DOS looked out
On the feast of payday,
Saw the students looking bored
With teachers past their heyday.
Brightly shone his balance sheet,
Though his ways were cruel,
When a teacher came in sight
Grinning like a fool.

Noble DOS with heart so pure,
Listen to my pleading:
I can no longer buy beer;
Oh, my heart is bleeding.
Though I love your budget plan
With its devolved spending,
Making us buy students’ books
Means my debt’s unending.

Evil-hearted DOS glared back
With feelings of derision.
How dare you suggest my plan
Needs any revision?
If your debts you cannot pay,
You must bear the blame.
Be creative. All is clear:
Put your wife on the game.