School and workplace prayers are a rarity in this ungodly age. To encourage a revival of the practice, I have composed these prayers for language school use.

Confession
A general Confession to be said of the whole Teaching Staff after the Director of Studies, all kneeling.

Almighty and most merciful God, we have erred and strayed from thy ways like lost answer sheets. We have followed too much the naughty desires of our own hearts. We have left undone the lesson preparation which we ought to have done. We have exceeded the meet and proper measure of teacher talking time. We have hastened past grammar points which we understood not. We have been slovenly in our vestments and gazed lustfully upon the lineaments of the students. At weekends we have practised drunkenness and wantonness and been thoroughly idle and wicked.

O God, have mercy upon us, miserable teachers, and grant that we may hereafter live a godly, righteous and sober life. Amen.

Prayer for a Pay Rise
O God, whose gift it is that the rain doth fall, the earth is fruitful, beasts do increase, and fishes do multiply, behold, we beseech thee, the afflictions of thy teachers and grant that the scarcity and dearth, which we do now suffer, may through thy goodness be mercifully turned into plenty.

We pray thee to turn the hard hearts of the school owners away from miserliness and avarice to a renewed love of their humble servants who labour for a handful of pennies. In return we ask that thy bounty may yield to the owners such fruits as more chariots, gold ornaments and fine linen. Amen.

A Prayer for the Director of Studies
O God, the high and mighty, the only Ruler of princes, most heartily we beseech thee to behold our most gracious Director of Studies, [name]. Endue him/her plenteously with heavenly gifts, grant him/her in health and wealth long to live, strengthen him/her that he/she may vanquish and overcome all his/her enemies.

And in turn we pray that he/she should not unduly reproach us for our faults, for our lateness and wantonness and our mutterings and groanings, but grant us a timetable that is not too burdensome. Amen.

A Commination of Rival Schools
O Almighty God, Governor of all things, whose power no creature is able to resist, save and deliver us from the hands of our enemies, especially those that work at [name of school]. For their teachers are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, mincing as they go. Therefore we ask thee to abate their pride and confound their devices, that we may be preserved evermore from all perils.

May their students forsake them and their profits dry up, yea, and their classes be like unto a wilderness. May their divers engines and instruments break down daily and their teachers be ugly and dull. Amen.

A Prayer to Unjam the Photocopier
O most powerful and glorious Lord God, at whose command the winds blow, we thy creatures do in great distress cry unto thee for help. We confess, when the copier hath been working, we have forgot thee and refused to hearken to thy word and to obey thy commandments: But now we see how terrible thou art in all thy works of wonder, and therefore we implore thy goodness. Help, Lord, and unjam the copier for thy mercy’s sake. Amen.

The Churching Of Teachers
The Teacher, at the usual time after the Observed Lesson, shall come into the School decently apparelled, and there shall kneel down in some convenient place, as hath been accustomed, or as the Senior Teacher shall direct. And then the Director of Studies shall say:

Forasmuch as it hath pleased Almighty God of his goodness to give you safe deliverance, and hath preserved you in the great danger of Lesson Observation, you shall therefore give hearty thanks unto God and say:

O God, I give thee humble thanks for that thou hast vouchsafed to deliver me thy servant from the great pain and peril of an Observed Lesson: Grant, I beseech thee, most merciful God, that I, through thy help, may teach henceforth according to thy will. Amen.