-95 minutes: Nerdy student arrives. Arranges books, files, pencil case, lucky charms, etc and double-checks homework.

-90: Lesson officially starts.

-85: Other students arrive. Gossip, play with mobile phones, copy homework off nerdy classmate.

-80: Teacher arrives, panting. Takes out register.

-79: Teacher realizes this is not TOEFL but Level 1 General English. Goes to teachers’ room to get correct class pack.

-75: Teacher still hunting for class pack.

-70: Teacher finds class pack. Explains absence from class to DOS, who has emerged menacingly from office.

-65: Teacher returns to class. Takes register. (Cannot remember students’ names.)

-60: Another student arrives. Teacher reproves him for lateness. Cannot find name on register, because student has not paid. Student says he has. Both go to front desk to resolve dispute.

-50: Teacher and student return to class. Classroom empty. Teacher tracks down students in various places: outside (smoking), computer room (chatting), lounge (watching TV), lavatories (God knows).

-40: Class restarts. Hangman.

-35: Another student arrives, to catcalls, disrupting class. Register has slipped under cupboard. Students fish it out using rulers.

-25: Hangman continues.

-20: Power cut. Emergency lamp fails to light. Teacher blunders about, bumping into sharp chairs and pliant students.

-15: Office assistant brings candle. Students complain it is too dark to see whiteboard.

-10: Power returns. Cheers. Hangman resumes.

-5: Students start packing up bags noisily.

-3: Mass exodus. Hangman still unfinished.

-2: Nerdy student tries to buttonhole teacher about grammar. Teacher escapes.

0: Lesson officially ends.