by Francis O’Brien

Despite its Germanic name, this is a truly international and comprehensive approach to communication teaching, one that builds holistically on all facets of the person to bring them into complete harmonious oneness with others, physically or otherwise.

As Byron put it, “the mind, the music breathing from her face”. And Falconer spoke of “thou living ray of intellectual Fire”. These certainly point us in the direction our teaching needs to go.

The basic premise of Vernunftism is that all of our senses must be explicitly engaged when we are communicating with others. For far too long ELT has concerned itself only with the spoken and written aspects of communication. Such a limited mindset does not allow our students the full range of sensory horizons in which they can roam with their interlocutor.

In the natural world, one we humans surely inhabit, all senses are used for communication. Picture the baboon sniffing its partner’s bottom. Feel the antelope kicking its partner’s genitals. Taste the stamen calling out to the bee. Smell the natural aromas of the armpit. Our students have faced cul-de-sacs when wishing to go down such channels and now Vernunftism brings the 5 senses (or is it 6 or even 7?) to our students so that they can use their power.

The view of communication (the term “language” is banned, naturally, as it represents a linguo-centric view of communication) underlying the approach is that it is a vehicle for obtaining pieces of paper from exam boards, after which it is never to be used again. Other uses, such as speaking to people to express a function, are incidental and best left for the occasional foreign holiday, or when meeting an elderly unencumbrer in a dingy bar with a possible leg-over in view. Students, or “sensers”, as we should more properly call them, should use all senses to communicate, that is the key.

The importance of all senses in the acquisition of communication cannot be underestimated and must be at the forefront of all sensezone activity. Drama obviously encourages this, but the unencumbrer must look for all opportunities to engage all senses, so that they can facilitate communication through all organs.

Some examples: loud long bell chimes that resonate for 30+ seconds while the sensers sit in silence, looking at vocabulary lists. Not only are there obvious advantages connected with word/sound association, the sound waves actually allow brain synapses to connect more readily, thus facilitating greater acquisition.

With regard to sight, the way in which the sensezone is decorated is crucial. Large squares of bright colour should be hung around the room. This will assist in visual reinforcement of communication patterns and also foster concentration during pattern memorisation activities. It also aids the sensers to connect the artificial world of the sensezone to equally artificial works of “art” which they could make thousands from if they can con an art gallery into buying one.

It goes without saying that aromatherapy is highly beneficial for communication testing. All sorts of communication can also be practised while dousing for suitable scents.

Taste offers a myriad of opportunities for communication acquisition. Some of this is potentially illegal, or at least unethical, but when there are school inspectors in town the use of large squidgy balls, plasticine or any bright goo, accompanied by lists of past tense irregular verbs, is bound to be effective.

Touch is also essential and can easily be encouraged in drama sessions. It could also lead to the odd shag, although this is not a primary aim of the methodology.

Other aspects of vernunftism include those outside the sensezone.

Opportunities for self-study, such as those employed in a self-access centre, are superfluous and block the natural process of learning as outlined elsewhere in the method. Schools employing vernunftism will not use any space for SACs or any other space outside classrooms where sensers might use the target communication in error by speaking or writing only.

Testing procedures, to obtain the all-important piece of paper, must involve the sensers in the production of all exhalations from the sense organs. Preparatory work can be obtained from any children’s programme involving making toy cities or marching in bands.

Finally, the role of the unencumbrer must be dealt with briefly. Tactile, light as air, grunting, swaying, wiffy—these are all sensons that we can use to describe this being. The unencumbrer is a part of the universe to be perceived by the sensers, who can partake of its facilitating presence to communicate. Failing that, if they meet the unencumbrer after it has had a few pints down the pub, the sensons could be equally applied in another way.